A Cloudy Lesson

This week we watched a clip called A Cloudy Lesson. 

Our job was to write a short narrative  telling the story that we had seen. 

We worked hard using the Success Criteria and Peer Assessment to think about our learning and how we could improve this piece as well as our writing in the future. 

Here are a couple examples.


A Cloudy Lesson
Written by Dawn

I could feel dolphins swimming around in my stomach as my grandfather led me up to the top of the tower. Looking up, surprised and excited, I was wondering why I was up there. 

My grandfather slowly and gently opened the old, brown rusty chest box. "Wow! What is that? It looks amazing." 
"It's a cloud maker," he said. 
My grandfather slowly picked it up and stabbed it into a hole. I saw him blow through it. It made a funny and squiggly looking cloud shape. I had a turn too but it appeared as a tiny cloud so my grandfather showed me how to blow a big one. He told me to take a big gigantic breath and then blow. I tried it by nothing came out. It was like a magician on stage. 

When I tried it one more time I fell and broke it. I lifted myself up off the floor and looked up into my grandfather's eyes in a terrified way. He looked like he was disappointed. His face went wrinkly and his eyes were looking at me so I picked it up. I thought it was ruined so I started making shapes out of it. 

The first one I made was a star, then a donkey, then a heart but since my grandfather had already had a turn at blowing I decided to have a turn too. So I blew a cloud that was a heart. It went up into the sky in between the two other clouds. It looked so cool because of the sunset in the background. I kept on making more shapes. As we blew them we started watching the clouds fly in the sky. It was like we were watching a movie. After a while it went away and we climbed down the tower and went back inside. 


A Cloudy Lesson
Written by Ali 

"Papa papa! Look I found the sky tower." 
"Great!" 
Shaking my arms and legs I was determined to climb the 800 foot sky tower. Climbing with fear and fright, I was surrounded by the crumbling noise of wind trying to knock the tower down. 

At last we got to the top. My papa put his rust old chest on the ground. Papa's fingers, wrinkly and weak, unlocked the chest and he grinned seeing that I was excited. 
"Oooo! Papa's got a cloud maker." 

Papa set the cloud maker up and did one colossal blow through it and he made one jumbo cloud. I took a terrified step closer to the cloud maker. He slid his hand against his body and welcomed me like I was the king. I took another step and I said to papa, "I don't know how to use this." 
He whispered "Just have a try." I took another over-anxious step and I was already 5cm away from the cloud maker. I blew through the cloud maker and my banana smile went into a sad orange. It didn't work.  


A Cloudy Lesson
Written by Hazyl

Climbing up the stairs, almost to the platform I could hear butterflies rumbling and flying around in my stomach. "Grandpa, where are we going?" 
"Just keep walking, it's a surprise." His legs, wrinkly and sore, were slowly walking up the stairs. 
"Wow! This is amazing!" As I stood tall, I could see huge clouds surrounding me like soldiers protecting the queen. 

Suddenly grandpa opened his rusted, broken chest and he grabbed the cloud maker and blew a gigantic cloud. Then grandpa gave me the cloud maker and he told me to have a turn but I could only make a tiny cloud. 
"Here, have another turn." So I blew into the cloud maker again and nothing happened. I blew again and again but nothing happened so I blew into it again and suddenly I had broken it.

I could see the look on my grandpa's face and he looked very disappointed in me." Sorry grandpa." I picked up the bent and broken cloud maker. Grandpa's face, old and miserable, scrunched up with sadness. "I have an idea."
"What is it?" 
"Just watch and learn." 

I picked up the rusty and bent cloud maker and made different shapes out of it. "Look grandpa. I made a star."  
"Awesome! Now we can blow more clouds and make another shape."
"Here's a bunny." Blowing my clouds with my grandpa, I saw the smile and the twinkle in his eyes come back.

A Cloudy Lesson
Written by David

"Err, err, err" went every step as I was walking up. 
"Ya papa, can I have a turn now please?" 
"Hold on now, I have to get it out."
Slowly he opened his chest made of rough wood. "Now this is how a pro does it." Slowly inhaling, he let out a big puff and shook the whole tree house. 
"My turn. Ahhhhh" (fart noises) Ploploploplop.

Barely blowing, I don't even think that I had made a cloud.  Papa, tall and strong, was very disappointed but he had faith in me. Nothing came out then SNAP!
"No! my cloud maker. I don't get another one for 25 years." 
Then I thought "This is pretty easy to bend," so slowly, I crafted new shapes out of papa's glistening, bright cloud maker tool. Then fffffooooo pop! Out came a star shape. "Boy, make another shape." So I crafted a rabbit looking thing that had long ears. Walking slowly but casually to me he said "Would you like to have this?" 
"Sure," I said. 

When walking down from our steep tree house we had a closer bond than we had had when we first went up there.